Attracting Marital Fulfillment, Its Not To Late To Start Right Now
As a personal and professional development coach, I have listened to scores of unhappy marital stories from clients. It is not my intention to pose as a marriage counselor nor therapist, as I am neither. However, via my previous experience as a crisis counselor, and as a partner in an intercultural marriage with its own unique characteristics, I have built up a store of helpful tips, some of which I share with you below. "To those who choose to marry with love, knowledge and commitment"
is the dedication line in a very important book in my life. This is one of the pre-marital workbooks I used to assess to what extent my husband and I were compatible for marriage. It offers information and questions that help couples examine their attitudes and expectations for married life. Difference in expectations is a common cause of marital discord, and the most unfortunate part is that these expectations are often not discussed prior to making wedding vows. After all, before tying the knot, couples are in that magical state of euphoria and seeming invincibility. "Love conquers all" is the ubiquitous message in popular music and movies. Admittedly, the pedantic, almost arduous activity of talking through pages and pages of
questions in preparation for marriage can be a bit daunting. Yet taking the time to do so is guaranteed to save the potential bride and groom time and heartache. Afterward finishing the process, some couples may find out what they may fear most, that they need more time to decide if they are ready to commit their lives to one another. It's better to learn this before the knot is tied. Of course, there is no guarantee that after having gone through a pre-marital question and answer process that a marriage will be trouble-free. However, you will have gained invaluable insight into crucial areas that can make or break-up a marriage, and you will be better prepared to handle issues as they come up. Whether you're planning to wed or are already wed / in a committed relationship, and would like more fulfillment, using a pre-marital workbook to help you and your partner explore issues is a sensible idea. The dedication line above is from the book Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook: How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry, by Jerry D. Hardin and Dianne C. Sloan, Thomas Nelson Publishers, ©1992. There are other books out there that have similar purposes, this happens to be the one I know best since I've used it in my own marriage. This book does a fairly thorough job of covering the issues, such as: emotional love
behavioral patterns
family backgrounds
communication
friendship love
time management
perceptions
listening
commitment love
attitudes
household management
financial management
expectations
honesty
covenants to one another
conflict resolution
priorities
anger
ghosts that each partner brings into the marriage
religious beliefs
sexuality
child planning/rearing
lifestyles Some of these topics may be awkward, yet the book does the job of broaching them for you. The discussion process can be fun, even romantic if you let it be so. And, face it, whether you choose to deal with these issues before or after you walk down the aisle, they will be dealt with in one way or another. For those who have already tied the knot, it's not too late to discuss these issues on an as-needed basis. One thing I like about this book is its covenants - promises that partners make to one another, complete with signature lines. Those signatures serve as a standing record of your mutual honor and commitment. Do you have questions about the pre-marital/post-marital discussion process? Contact me at mailAThersheywier.com (substitute @ for AT) Copyright 2005, Hershey Wier Hershey Wier, BS Education, MBA, is a Career & Self-Development Specialist specializing in holistic, creative approaches to career and life transitions.
Visit http://www.HersheyWier.com
Related News
Florida governor's bride-to-be chooses her gown for Dec. 12 wedding - Sun-Sentinel.com
Montag, Pratt wedding symbolic, not yet legal - Auburn Citizen
Ivana Divorce! Trump Splits From Hubby After 7-Month Marriage - FOXNews
Marriage is a gamble - Straits Times
Marriage is a gambleStraits Times, Singapore -5 hours agoShe and her fiance are the main draws in Wedding Of The Year, set for release on Jan 22 next year. The film is a black comedy about a celebrity couple who ... |
This Season, Some Tempers Simmer - Wall Street Journal
This Season, Some Tempers SimmerWall Street Journal -1 hour agoNow a trip to a cousin's Florida wedding in February is in jeopardy because of finances. Missing the wedding and Christmas "could become a source of ... |
Group Plans To Protest Crist's Wedding - CBS 4
An ugly attack on Mormons - Los Angeles Times
Weddings and business: A marriage of convenience - BusinessWorld Online
Weddings and business: A marriage of convenienceBusinessWorld Online, Philippines -Nov 27, 2008Just as weddings are a beginning of a lifelong marriage, wedding suppliers are hopeful that the current business vigor paves the way for a truly sustainable ... |
Give us an alternative to state-sanctioned marriage - San Francisco Chronicle
Certified Vacations Group, Inc. & CaribbeanWeddings.Com Announce ... - MarketWatch
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Recognize and Cope with an Emotional Affair
Did you know that an emotional affair can be just as dangerous to a marriage as a physical affair, and sometimes more so? And that spouses who never had any intention of cheating can unwittingly become enmeshed in an emotional affair?
Five Ideas for a More Romantic Honeymoon
Candles, rose petals, satin, succulent foods, perfume-you're probably already familiar with all of these time-honored ingredients for creating a romantic mood on your honeymoon. But candles, rose petals, and other sensual ingredients only go so far. The real key to creating a romantic honeymoon is to spend time celebrating your relationship and your new life together as a married couple. After all, romance is more about the heart than the body.
Wife Smarter Than Husband?
Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than her husband?
How to Save Money on Wedding Photography
All brides want that one photograph that perfectly captures the wedding day. But to get it, you have to hire a skilled photographer--and unfortunately, they usually cost several thousand dollars. Here are some tips to cropping your photography budget down to size:
Restore Your Marriage - 5 Ways to Feel Connected to Your Spouse Even on Opposite Schedules
We've all been through times in our lives when it was so busy we would rarely have time to ourselves let alone time to contact our family and friends. With every day life moving as quickly as it is, there just seems to be no time to do everything in one day and get a decent amount of sleep so you can do it all over again the next day. It's no wonder why it's so hard these days for a married couple to share a strong relationship. If you feel your marriage is lacking, check out the following advice to improve or even save your marriage!
Why Hire A Wedding Designer?
As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often confused over how much to spend, where to obtain specialized services, and how to choose vendors. These worries often mount as quickly as the cost of the wedding. After the euphoria wears off and the reality settles in, it's shocking to discover how much preparation is involved. Couples are faced with decisions about everything from invitation wording to planning their honeymoon. Couples often find they want experienced professional help.
Get Swept Away on Your Wedding Day: Rent a Sailboat or Yacht!
For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion, take a once-in-a-lifetime voyage to the world's waters ? rent a sailboat or yacht for your wedding ? or for your closest loved ones. Imagine saying your vows while sailing across the ocean blue ? either on a bright morning or a lovely afternoon, just as the sun is setting ? it's sure to be an occasion both you and all your guests on board will never forget!
Cheap Wedding Favors
Planning a wedding of any size or budget can have numerous items that may be quite costly. In addition to planning for the dress and cake, a bride will want to spend thought considering the wedding favors for her guests. These small tokens of appreciation don't have to be expensive. Frequently, the most enjoyable part of planning a wedding, is the selection of the wedding favor. Preparation for right the token at the least possible cost adds to the fun, allowing the bride a chance to tap into creative talents.
Faulty Expectations: 4 Essential Don?ts
The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage, the more likely you are to have a successful one. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to give serious consideration to your expectations of your fiancé. Are they realistic? Are they fair?
Engagement Rings & Celebrities
Whether we like it or not current trends in engagement rings say bigger is so much better. Just have a look at what style engagement rings celebrities are choosing. And of course what's good for them is good for the rest of us.
How to Make Your Wedding Vows Something You?ll Remember Forever
If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your own wedding vows, you're probably looking for some tips to make your vows as special, meaningful, and eloquent as you can. This is something that will take time beforehand so that you can prepare yourself and become completely comfortable with what you're saying. Remember, you're not just saying pretty words, you're stating your wedding vows -- words from the heart that aim to express if only a fraction of how important this bond of love is to you.
The A To Z Guide For Your Wedding Day
Attendants
Six Ways to Decorate Your Wedding Arch
Sometimes a wedding arch is a no-brainer way to spruce up your ceremony site. No-brainer, at least, until you actually have one in your hands and ready to decorate. Then it gets a little more complicated.
How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 10
What about this business of food for lovers? Is it possible that if you eat this, that or the other thing, your time in bed with your partner will be more satisfyingly active? And is this food only designed for men, or is there something out there in the world to kick-start those lazy, inert women, as well?
Wedding Reception; From Trendy to Traditional
Wedding receptions are not as formal as they once were, more and more couples are foregoing the expensive catered wedding receptions and coming up with some innovative ideas on how to throw them.
10 Common Wedding Reception Mistakes
Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is to try and minimize problems that may occur during a wedding reception. Listed below are the more common mistakes made by brides and grooms during your wedding reception. We will tell you what to do!
The Right Age To Marry!
An ideal combination. A good career, a great husband and a mess-free life. But with no compromises... The generation of today has no qualms. They are focussed and clear-cut in their plans..." And what if you meet an interesting guy in the meantime who wants to get married right away?" This was the clever reply: "Too bad. If he loves me, he'll wait." !
Renewing Your Marriage Vows - On the Right Side of the Law
Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could mislead Australian couples into inadvertently breaking the law when they renew their marriage vows.
Improve Your Marriage With Better Communication
Communication plays one of the most important roles in any type of relationship whether a professional association or a more intimate bond such as marriage. Many of these relationships don't develop into their full potential because the communication link is missing or weak. If you're looking to save your marriage or connect with your marriage partner on a deeper level, the following advice may give you a new perspective that can help your marriage grow into the relationship you've always wanted.
Saving Money on Your Wedding Reception Using Reception Themes
Just like weddings, receptions are often theme based as well. Reception themes are often more relaxed than wedding themes because they are meant to be provided in a party atmosphere. There are many affordable themes that can be used and I will mention some of them here as well as some great ideas for them.
|
